Updated: Dec 21, 2022
Letting Go is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves right now. When we start depending on outside sources to make us feel better, or distracting ourselves with the next shiny thing, or you're constantly trying to find things outside of yourself to heal you and you don’t actually put in the work and look at the things that need to be healed, its time to look a little deeper. I urge you to stop, breathe, and ask yourself, what am I doing? Am I actually healing? Or am I still running? The stuff that we ignore inside ourselves can be massive amounts of guilt, shame, feeling sorry for ourselves, childhood trauma, you name it and we hold on to it. And as much as we would like to hold on to our story because we think it makes us who we are, (which in a sense it does) we must realize that it is absolutely NOT who we are. what we go through is just our own scenarios (scene) in this big movie called life! We all have to play our part in it. But instead of looking at it like that, we tend to hold on to things because we keep trying to figure out why in the HELL we had to go through these things in the first place. Instead of just brushing ourselves off and saying, ok I gotta keep going, we dramatize our journey. And in a way that’s ok because without some drama life would be boring, but there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough! How many times am I gonna tell this damn story to everyone? How many times am I going to go over it in my own head before I move the hell on and move forward? How many times am I going to ignore it and distract myself?
Sometimes we even hold on to things because the love we never received or refuse to give ourselves, will come from others feeling sorry for us, which most of the times is false love because deep down no one really gives a shit and you're just giving them something to add to their stories when they talk about you to other people. However, we keep doing it, because even though it's temporary love or attention, it still fills a void for the time being. Do you find yourself doing that? if so, its ok, you're ok! No need to beat yourself up about that too! But become aware of it and dig a little deeper. Ask the question, why do I need this validation from others? and if you wait for the answer, it will come. Sometimes in a clear voice, or sometimes in a new situation that will show you an example. Sometimes we need a stronger nudge from the universe, but you will get an answer eventually. The key is to start looking for the love inside of you instead. Look for the love from your highest source, whatever you call it. God, Goddess, Universe, Source.. etc. Make that connection and and then keep it going. True source love is much better than anyone else's false love. There are people that care to a certain extent, but most people are just trying to figure out their own life and their own shit to fully be able to care about yours. And thats an ugly truth we all need to grasp.
If you don’t deal with your shit, it piles up, becomes toxic, and becomes way too heavy to carry. But most of us, instead of letting it go and moving forward and becoming lighter, so to speak, we sit in that shit, and get stuck in it. And it's ok to sit in it for a little while, especially if you’ve been ignoring it for so long. Whatever that pile consists of should be picked up and dealt with one at a time, so it can finally be released. The key to it all is accepting that at some cosmic level, you created all the shit! You participated in its existence on some level. Remember, (Movie role). Everything is a part of your story. Each of those things were a lesson no matter how deep and dark. So, accept them as just that and thank them for whatever that lesson was, even if you don’t know exactly what it was teaching you at the moment. You never know when those lessons will come in handy and you'll make the connection. And maybe you won't. We have to be comfortable with not knowing as well.
None of this is easy. Life isn’t supposed to be easy at all… ever.. I don’t think? We search for happiness as if its the end goal of our existence, when I feel like we're really here to learn how to love and to forgive and create and receive and just straight up experience. Love others, and most of all find the love for ourselves, in all situations. Give ourselves room to make mistakes with grace and patience. Real love and what it truly entails should feel easy and never forced. It's the expectations we attach to it that hurts us in the end. I myself have always held on to guilt because I definitely could have been a better mother for example. Boy do I wish I could get a do over with what I know now. The only thing I knew how to do was punish, yell and make empty threats. When all you have is yelling and punishing in your tool box, and you realize that doesn't work, there's always giving up! Cause that always works right? I was good at that. However, I had to come to terms with it all and what’s done is done. I can no longer blame myself and feel guilty about stuff I no longer have control over. So, I learned to let it go. I learned to send myself some love because no one is perfect, and I only went with what I knew how to do. We have to fucking let it go, or it will just keep dragging us down and we will never be able to fully move forward with ease with all that weight attached. Even if there is a daily reminder of it, you have to learn how to remind yourself daily if need be that you’re ok and everything else is ok. All I know is, as human beings, we have things to do on this planet and we need love, acceptance, forgiveness and both of our hands to navigate that! So let it go!! Everything will be ok..